LA,

I have tried. I have tried over and over to go to your coffee shops. I always have enough stuff to do, I love coffee. But I cannot stand the way all of your coffee shops are completely unaware of how bad a latte tastes when the milk is scorched and the cup is half full of syrup.  I can't go. I've given up. From now on. ONLY Starbucks for me. For some reason every Starbucks barista across the globe has managed to make a basic latte without causing me to immediately throw it away.  Obviously, its not hard for them. Obviously, this is why Starbucks are on every corner. Obviously, the little man deserves to go down, because he can't give me no satisfaction.

Pandora,

Please, save me from Christmas music. I'm not a music person, but I am even more not a Christmas music person. I'd rather stuff hot coals in my ears than listen to another rendition of drummer boy.  Hence, for the next month, every time I venture into public, I will be wearing headphones, and listening to Anything at all that can be turned up loud enough to drown out this horrible holiday necessity. I am declaring war on Christmas music. Santa Baby is not a good enough song to be played for an entire month and a half every single year.

1/12+ of everyone's entire life will be spent listening to the same songs played over and over and over again. At least when regular song artists come out with crap, we are only subjected to listen to it until other artists come out with different crap. Imagine if you had to listen to the same Justin Timberlake album every September for the rest of your life. Just imagine how your brain would react. Why is it any different for Christmas? Why is that switch that makes people irritated at incessantly repetitive things just Collectively Switched OFF.

Seriously, The repetitiveness is enough to scrooge me into NOT GOING CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.  There.  The threat has been stated. Don't test me.

Whoever,

So my 9$ hairdryer stopped working this morning after dying a slow death from being strangled by the hair that its been eating from my head for the last 3 weeks. I ventured to Target again. This time I bought a 35$ dryer.  So far this one hasn't expressed any desire to munch on hair; It's three times as powerful and has a diffuser AND an ionizer. Booya.  The placebo effect alone has made my hair shinier.