While waiting for the UCLA hospital to fill a prescription, I went to take a look around the UCLA Campus. A delightful decision of mine. Of course, if I hadn't left the waiting room, I would have willingly started drilling into my own skull to avoid hearing that bratty 5 year old scream at his grandma one more time. And then I would have calmly walked over to the kid's grandma and used the rest of my toolbox on her. I seriously have never heard someone over the age of 1/12 accurately use the words "Waaaaaaa, Waaaaaaa" as an onomatopoeia. G-ross

Breath.....

Ok. So UCLA has the most amazing botanical gardens. I experienced bliss while walking through the bamboo and palm trees. And semi-bliss while, yanking my feet back onto the bridge after a crazed turtle turned on stealth and attack mode. Seriously, what is is with my feet that makes them so attackable to animals. I'm surprised I still have 10 toes since I went to the zoo back in February while wearing  flip-flops

Tonight, I went to see Patton Oswalt (a comedian) at the Knitting Factory in downtown Hollywood. And because sometimes I like to pose as an idiot, I drove all the way there to find out it was sold out. At the box office, I asked if there were any other alternative performances still available. I bought a ticket to an act on a different stage. The performance was called eh hem .. "Telephone Jim Jesus / Bizzart VS. Innaspace, Baseck. I was like "mmm...Versus...Sweet, maybe its an improv battle." So I go into the lounge area grab a cushion and wait for the show to begin. The show was ridiculously late in starting, and I had to listen to some DJs play some badly remixed hip hop in the mean time. 40 minutes later I realized that the badly remixed hip hop WAS the performance. Battling DJs. sigh.  My assumption that comedy clubs only show comedy had been way off.

The show was slow, lame, and laaaaame. DJs should not be allowed to call themselves musicians much less battle for who can be the most mediocre at playing someone else's song on a machine that someone else built and someone else programmed. I Made myself sit and listen for another 20 minutes because I figured I had paid to. Then wisely, I remembered my accounting classes where they drilled into our heads that sunk costs are never to be considered when making future investments. Hence, I bailed. Bitterly swallowed $10 bucks and hightailed my way out of palpable boredom on a quest to salvage the rest of the night.

The Knitting Factory happens to be a block down from Avenue of the Stars and many other iconic Hollywood landmarks. I piddled around a bit watching the street performers before admitting defeat and ending the night with one last goal: not to be mugged on my way to my Taurus in a dark parking garage.

I even failed at that. What a rotten night

I went to the ArcLight Hollywood to see Tropic Thunder. The ArcLight is a "high end" movie theatre in LA. It's like a regular movie theatre with extra perks. The Arclight has very nice captain's chair seats as well as 21+ theatres where you can bring alcohol and watch a movie imbibed. A real-life-person announcer comes out before each movie and introduces the film. e.g. "Welcome everyone. A comedy starring Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr..."

Another main attraction is that all the seating is reserved. So no standing in long lines for opening night performances cause you bought your specific seat a month ago. Also, they make fresh caramel popcorn. The ArcLight also has a huge dome theatre that I unfortunately didn't get sit in for Tropic Thunder. I'll try to get in to see a dome showing shortly. Maybe for a 3D movie!

LA truly has a handle on this whole entertainment thing.

Below: ArcLight Dome and the ArcLight Restaurant where we ate. Ive been informed that the gym seen across from the restaurant is one of LA's Stunningly Beautiful People Gyms. The open area in the picture has bands playing during the evening. We saw some jazzy, blues band playing John Williams theme songs.

In order to get to the ArcLight, we took the Los Angeles subway from Universal Studios (Near wear I work) to Hollywood. The self-serve subway tickets cost $1.25 for a one-way ticket. The LA Subway has no ticket turn tables or ticket collectors. (When first built, LA wanted few barriers to entry for using the subway system). What they DOOOO have, though  is random ticket checkers who may stop you to see your ticket. If you don't have one, the fine is $250 dollars!!

It seemed that most of the station was covered in these plastic old-timme-y film reels.

For those who care: Tropic Thunder was hysterical. I LOVED it. It had a touch of Bill Murray's "The Man Who Knew Too Little" comedy (also a great movie), where the characters are in a real-life BAD situation, but the characters think that the situation is just play acting for their benefit. When Tom Cruise starts screaming into the phone at the people holding Stiller for ransom... Oh Man. I was crying. Also, Robert Downey Jr. is TWICE the comedy actor that Ben Stiller is.

My first professional baseball game. Supposedly a good game. Dodgers won 7-6 from behind over the Phillies. I cheered when everyone else did. We sat right above home plate, so we had good seats, but we were far enough away that the Phillies' light gre/ay looked very much like the Dodgers' white uniforms. So I was greatly confused most of the night -- Why are the Dodger's catching their own balls?

I also want to note that I ate some of the WORST hotdogs and Fries I've ever had the displeasure to digest. If that crap is All-American, I want nothing to do with the Red, White, and Blue.

Us in the stadium 20 min after the game was over.

Yes, I know I went last week. I apologize for not spicing my life more.

I got seats halfway to the front and look how far away from the action I still am.

A story of government tyranny and unrequited french love. Two equally unconscionable travesties.

The most interesting person for me was Javair. Javair, after following the government law and nothing else for his entire life, is shown that the law is not always the perfect moral absolute when Javair's human prey shows Javair mercy after being hunted by Javair for years. Javair realizes that his life now contains a contradiction. He realizes the government law that he devoted his life to is fallible. In order to resolve this conflict, he has two simple options: 1. Believe the government's law is a moral absolute or 2. Believe his OWN BRAIN. Javair chooses option three: Kill himself. In general, a successful though NOT ideal method for eliminating contradictions in your life.

It's ok, though. Javair had to die. Because everyone else in the show died.

Melora Hardin (Psycho Jan Levinson-Gould ex. employee of Dunder Mifflin) played Fantine. So cool. Good voice, but NOT comparable to the professional singers. I was kind of disappointed because Fantine historically has some of the best songs.

The show sold out - 17,000 seats - FULL.

I sat in the dark watching the show for over two hours. LA makes you think that mosquitos don't exist.

Since I liked last weekend so much, I decided to do a replay, only in hi-def this time. Three days ago I missed my 15 mile long run because there happened to be a So You Think You Can Dance Finale on. So I decided I had to do a half-marathon this weekend to make up for my slacking. I signed up for the 29TH ANNUAL RUN THROUGH THE PINES half marathon. (my first Half)

Things didnt start out too well this morning. My alarm didnt go off (user error, I think) so my plans to leisurely get up at 4:40 turned into a panicked race for the car at 6:00. I woke up and was on the road in 8 minutes. The drive to the race was a 1.4 hr trek to Lake Gregory which is conveniently located ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN! This I had not known before hand. My car climbed 5000 ft in 14 miles. Honestly, I was far more likely to get that kind of rough mileage out of myself then out of my automobile.

I barely made it in time. I finished checking in just as they announced 60 seconds to start.

The course was hilly as in hilly. The lake was pretty. The pine tree shade was blissfully welcome as it was pretty steamy hot outside.

All in All - not bad for $3.43 a mile. If I had paid more, I would have devoted more of this entry to race management critiques

Results are below for those who care.

Finish Time -- 2:19:39.58
Splits

• 9:36.3
• 11:30.3
• 8:18.3
• 10:18.9
• 11:48.5
• 8:58.9
• 10:39.6
• 12:07.9
• 9:27.7
• 11:00.5
• 12:41.4
• 9:48.4 </LI<
• 13:22.3

Avg Mile 10:40

Aftermath

On Sunday I ran 5k. The race was a Lung Cancer Awareness shindig. Unfortunatly, no swag bag drama to report. Just a t-shirt and some advertisements. :(

The race was on the coast at the Playa Del Ray beach which meant that I had to wake up this morning at 5:30 in order to get ready and make it down there by 7:00 to register. Before the race there was a 15 minute arobics warmup that I participated in. Fantastic! I do love me some Tae Boe before I run.

During the race, there was this 35 year-old bearded dude who paced me the whole time. I was intesely irritated by it. He seemed to think we were racing. I thought I could ditch him at the water stop when I started booking it when he stopped for a drink. But no can do. 10 seconds later he was pacing me again and pretending like he didn't know what he was doing. Never ONCE making eye contact. He ran every step of the way 6 feet to my left. I ran like I was trying to shake a tail. Slowing down, speeding up, signaling one way and turning the other... NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER. Except the last 1/4 mile when I decided I wasnt nearly tired enough. This little piggy kicked dust all the way home and toasted the stupid, pot-belly man by 12 seconds.

At the end of the race, he came by to say "thanks, for a good competition. Hope to see you at the next one." I smiled a smile at him that read, "If I'm nice to you, will you get the creep away from me."

I finished with my best 5k time yet. 26:26 by "offical" record 26:14 by my own. The Truth is Out There...

I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon on the beach

Saturday night, I did a brave and courageous thing. I took public transportation to the middle of Hollywood. I did this to avoid paying over $20 park to see a show at the Hollywood Bowl. The Hollywood Bowl is an outdoor symphony hall that seats over 17,000 people. I had been told I must go see a show there, so I packed up my bag, put on my black, L.A. skinny pants and got on the bus.

I got me some $12 dollar 4th row from the back tickets and waited, with my book, 2 hours for the show to begin.

The show that was playing was written by Eric Idol of Monty Python fame, and Idol was there in person singing a main role backed up by the LA Philharmonic and 4 other soloists.(People in Hollywood are very spoiled by the plethora of freely available musical wonders. John Williams had performed the week before and Julie Andrews the week before that.) The show was called 'Not the Messiah' which was a delightful little spoof on Handel's oratorio which failed to take even that goal too seriously.

The plot, as inferred by me, is as follows: Set in the time of Christ, a painted lady gets pregnant and has a child named Brian Cohen. Brian grows up and tells his mom he wants to be a revolutionary and goes off to join the fight to overthrow the Romans. During a revolution meeting, Romans come in and demand to know who Brian is. A friend calls out that he is nothing but a lowly priest. To which Brian replies with a half-hearted beatitude. The crowd immediately thinks that Brian is the Messiah that everyone has been talking about. Brian denies this to no avail. Brian runs away leaving only a lost shoe behind which the crowd starts to worship. The crowd finds Brian at home and demands to know his will. He tells them to think for themselves -- to which they reply with a classic, "tell us what we have to think for ourselves." Eventually, a centurion comes to arrest Brian and take him to be crucified. While being led to the cross, Brian cries out that he doesnt want to be crucified. The protest leads a fellow prisoner to burst into song about always looking on the bright side of life. Also, in the show there was a perfunctory love story with a girl named Judith who served no purpose other than being an incarnate pun.

The performance was GREAT! I had the giggles for the whole of it. And even then, I think I missed half of the punch lines. Each song reflected a different musical style. I spent much of the time trying to figure out what genre of song was being spoofed. I picked out gospel, classical, Broadway (Les Mis), Do-op, Big Band, Gilbert and Sullivan, Mariachi. There was many more that I couldn't quite finger.   The last song of the night was a whistling spectacular complete with bagpipes and fireworks. Imagine 15,000 people whistling all at the same time. It was intensely limbic. I had a 10/10 experience.