I went to Sea World this weekend.  I have never been before, but while I was there I got the strongest sense of déjà vu that I HAD been there before. I have previously seen dolphins leap out of water I know it.

Ugh. I left my rock shoes at home for the last two weeks by accident. Ugh. My hand calluses are dwindling. I might just drive back home tomorrow just to get the shoes.

Lets talk about feet.  I'd rather not, but I'd rather be rock-climbing so SUCK-IT.  But let the E take effect first. Geez

So when I was in Cape Cod last week, I walked miles each day in a pair of new flip flops. Within hours of buying a pair, I had blisters between by big toes. Within two days (still walkin in flip flops), the calluses had turned into sloppy red marks.  Halfway through the trip to the Cape I said to my friends, "perhaps I should buy another pair of shoes." So we walk into a store, and I walk out with a much more expensive pair of flip flops.  So now my skin is being peeled off and sanitized by a  green Clarks suede thong instead of sticky white plastic thong.  On the plane ride home my toes swelled up to the point that I couldn't bend them and I had to take Advil to kill the stinging pain. 

I'm uploading a picture so you can see how GROSS and NASTY this is.

This is of me on the plane bending both toes on both feet. See the difference?

The plane ride wasn't so bad at all, though, considering. I have really good airport karma normally. This means that I arrive at the airport 30 minutes before takeoff, walk straight onto the shuttle, walk straight through security, and walk straight onto the plane without waiting one second in some STINKIN  terminal.  And normally, it also means I get to sit next to cool people too.  On the ride back to LA from Boston, I sat next to a young, lovey dovey, Asian couple that didn't talk to me  except to say howdy, but halfway through the ride, they offered to buy me a drink, which I accepted.  Thank god, I was sober when I landed, or else I would have put out.

My airport Karma was hit or miss this particular trip, however. I got stopped in Massachusetts for carrying pepper spray through security.  This supposedly is bad to begin with. Add on top of that the fact that pepper spray is flat out illegal in Mass without a permit, and you have me being told to stay put till the cops get here. The airport security guy who brought the state trooper over was nice but was all "clearly, you know you can't do this." And I'm all. "I've had this pepper spray on my key chain along with this dead hamster since I was a junior in college - 4 YEARS AGO - and have flown 20 times since then and have never been stopped.  So who's not following protocol NOW?! 

They took photographs, questioned me, filled out a report, and told me I would be getting an invoice in the mail for to take my money.  I land in LAX and was told by Southwest for the THIRD TIME IN A ROW that they had accidentally taken my baggage off of the plane in Baltimore.  I informed the Southwest people  of this and some representative named Earlene at the LAX airport apologized to me without even looking up from typing. Saying monotone, "I do apologize." and I said. " No, really. This is the third time in a row". And she said monotone without looking up. "I do apologize." I said. "I don't think you are being sincere."  Then since she was pissed she finally looked me in the eyes and circled an address on the brochure and said. "Contact these people if you have a problem."  And I'm like, " Dude, I would if I could type street names into a phone."   I was flabbergasted that my airport Karma had so totally and completely deserted me.  Next time I go to the airport it's three hours ahead of time for me.

Anyway, More feet stuff.

So I get to my hotel home, and I go jogging in my new marathon running shoes that I had picked up while shopping in Boston.  I had spent a great deal of time in Boston convincing the clerk that really,  each version of the shoe should have a brown, blue, and black model. And he said it wasn't important.  

He told me my right foot rolls ever-so-slightly inward when I run, and he got me some shoes with medium support to hopefully prevent any stress on my foot.  So I'm back in the OC and jogging down the road in my new blue shoes. Blue, I tell you.  And I think to myself..."mmm, my right arch is feeling a little stressed. That guy was full of it cause these shoes are supposed to make my right foot all better.  And then I thought, my left foot toes are falling asleep. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. And then I, thought, Geez my right foot is achy. I hate Boston and those liars that take up residence there."

And then I look down at my feet and start laughing because I have on my left foot my new marathon shoes and on my right foot my old cross-trainer shoe that has long been worn out. I couldn't have staged a better test.

I have since been running for long distances in my marathon shoes (9 miles on the pier this last weekend), both on at the same time, and have worn them in to the point that the toes aren't falling asleep anymore, and my right arch feels dandy.

And I wonder to myself once more why I don't just move to Boston where all the nice people are.  That maceless place filled with song and dance and non-fiction reading subway passengers.