After three months of calling the University every week asking why my loans haven’t come through yet, my loans FINALLY came through.

I have to take Federal Loan Entrance Counseling before they will disperse the loans to me. It’s an on-line “class” that consists of 18 topics on general student loan information. Topics cover loan types, repayments, interest rates, etc. You know, general loan stuff. Following each topic are a couple multiple choice questions that you are allowed to answer with the textual narration on the same page. So its really, really easy. 

But they made it even easier by a number of degrees. Like the questions were mostly true and false with a sentence copied and pasted from the instruction text and then asked if it was true of false. Big mistake first of all if you’re trying to teach a student with a computer anything. I remember take home tests where I’d also have an on-line copy of the text-book. Me and everyone else with a brain would just go home and Ctrl-F (Find) all the key words from the test questions and locate the answers with barely a scan through the book while I catch up on episodic television. Not that I had to search for most stuff as the questions tended to resemble => “You are obligated to pay back the Unsubsidized Stafford loan principle plus interest. True or False.“

And on top of that, OF the 25 or so true and false questions that I answered, 100% were true.  And 100% of the multiple choice questions were answered “All of the Above.” It took me three topics to figure this out. And thereafter, I read zero more questions much less the Loan Counseling materials.

They went out of their way to make sure anyone could pass this test regardless of their actual understanding of the material. And isn’t that precisely NOT the point of this test. If we are trying to make sure people UNDERSTAND the sometimes overwhelming financial responsibility they are taking on, why not actually test to see that that’s WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!!  Otherwise it’s just bullshit red tape that they can wave in your face in a court room that says “of course, you knew what capitalized interest was, you passed the test!”

The next step in getting my loans is to sign a Master Promissory Note which will cover all the loans I take out while I am a student. This Note is my contract to accept and pay back the monies I receive. I tried to do this today. But they needed my Drivers License number. Which I didn’t have as I had lost it about 5 weeks ago.  I was bummed. Cause this meant I needed to visit the DMV. Which I do NOT have time for as I am a full time employee this week and a totally booked student/employee next week. I resigned myself to having to spend Saturday waiting in line to get the stink eye and a replacement license.

Later that day I, went to my afternoon doctor’s appointment, whom I had also visited about 5 weeks ago and ventured a question to as whether or not they had my drivers license in lost and found . Yes, she said, she DID!  Thank God. Cause I really hate using my passport to get into bars.