So the job thing is still very much in limbo.  The department where I was proposed for a job is in the soak cycle until the new fiscal year. So no money until mid-September for my position. So that means I’ve been taken off of payroll with my company for the time being. This makes a lot of sense, they can’t keep paying me to sit here and not produce work for them.  The potential position(s) within my Company have not been taken off the table. And I have promises from staffers to keep me in the loop. People are still burning calories on my behalf trying to get me back in, so I’m just waiting to see what happens.

I’ve also been trying to explain to people that even if I can’t stay with the Company it is NOT A BAD THING. After all, I tried to quit entirely two weeks ago. If I don’t stay with my Company, that forces me to get out and pursue opportunities in my new industry. Or opportunities that blend my old industry with my new industry.  The financial stability of remaining with my current company would be nice. Conversely, getting out and gaining experience in Health Care would be nice. Both are great options for me. I am more than happy to pursue either.

So today, I spent most of the day doing things to sever ties with my Company as per Human Resources. Like transferring liability for my cell phone. This was soooo frustrating. Not because of my Company and not because of AT&T, but because my iPhone 4 dropped my call twice during the transfer.  The problem with the antenna IS ABSOLUTELY a problem for me. I can wrap my hand around the phone and the bars will go from 5 to 0 bars in seconds.  It’s my fault somewhat cause my iPhone 4 case (which I got free from Apple and which fixes the problem) is lounging in the cup holder of my car.  But going down to the car is not as of yet on my To-Do list, hence it didn’t get done today. Unlike 11 of the things that  were on the To-Do list.

Last night, I was like, “Mmm, maybe I should log online and see what times my classes are.” I’m finally switching from work mode to school mode. I had a hard time envisioning or contemplating my life as a student while working 40 hours a week in career progress mode, so sometime late Sunday night after completing my final work week, I was like “OK…here goes.”

My classes are in the morning, back to back, with labs on altering days.

My Bio class starts out with the professor going. “Good morning to everybody, Good Morning, Good Morning, Good Morning.” And then on to say something to the effect of “Congrats on being here. 36,000 people apply, 2,300 get in.” And that DID make me feel good. He said “For many of you, this is your first college class.”  I smiled. For me it’s easily my 45th.  I got this college thing down pat. Nothing surprised me about class except the shocking lack of laptop computers. I sat down in class and excitedly pulled out my laptop, then glanced around and noticed “One of these things is not like the other”, and sheepishly put it away. I guess that’s one of the many differences between science class and business classes. 

I’m going to try bringing my laptop one more time. I’ll sit nearer to the back and take notes without distracting anyone. I think it’s a complete myth that all the best students sit up front, anyway. As if 20 feet will make the difference between an A and  B.

I was pleasantly surprised in the Bio class that I was very aware of all the topics he brought up for discussion on modern Biology such as  the First Synthetic Genome (The first Organism with no parents) and the Superbug.  Both these stories broke earlier this summer. The Superbug story about antibiotic resistant bacteria was sent to me by a coworker in an email with the subject line “Please fix this.”

My Chem class was all about the syllabus, but I had to take an assessment test on Introductory Chemistry to assess my knowledge level.  Pretty low stress as no permanent points are assigned, but it’s going to be quite apparent to the teacher that I’ve forgotten all the Chemistry I never learned.

I hate earthquakes, but mostly I hate the adrenaline that comes with them. A measly 4.0 just occurred.  20 miles west of Long Beach, and my hands went all prickly. And now LA researchers are saying that The Big One (magnitude ranging from 6.6 to 7.9) happens on average every 144 years. And it’s been 153.  When it finally does happen, my hands are going to   FALL.   OFF .

After three months of calling the University every week asking why my loans haven’t come through yet, my loans FINALLY came through.

I have to take Federal Loan Entrance Counseling before they will disperse the loans to me. It’s an on-line “class” that consists of 18 topics on general student loan information. Topics cover loan types, repayments, interest rates, etc. You know, general loan stuff. Following each topic are a couple multiple choice questions that you are allowed to answer with the textual narration on the same page. So its really, really easy. 

But they made it even easier by a number of degrees. Like the questions were mostly true and false with a sentence copied and pasted from the instruction text and then asked if it was true of false. Big mistake first of all if you’re trying to teach a student with a computer anything. I remember take home tests where I’d also have an on-line copy of the text-book. Me and everyone else with a brain would just go home and Ctrl-F (Find) all the key words from the test questions and locate the answers with barely a scan through the book while I catch up on episodic television. Not that I had to search for most stuff as the questions tended to resemble => “You are obligated to pay back the Unsubsidized Stafford loan principle plus interest. True or False.“

And on top of that, OF the 25 or so true and false questions that I answered, 100% were true.  And 100% of the multiple choice questions were answered “All of the Above.” It took me three topics to figure this out. And thereafter, I read zero more questions much less the Loan Counseling materials.

They went out of their way to make sure anyone could pass this test regardless of their actual understanding of the material. And isn’t that precisely NOT the point of this test. If we are trying to make sure people UNDERSTAND the sometimes overwhelming financial responsibility they are taking on, why not actually test to see that that’s WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!!  Otherwise it’s just bullshit red tape that they can wave in your face in a court room that says “of course, you knew what capitalized interest was, you passed the test!”

The next step in getting my loans is to sign a Master Promissory Note which will cover all the loans I take out while I am a student. This Note is my contract to accept and pay back the monies I receive. I tried to do this today. But they needed my Drivers License number. Which I didn’t have as I had lost it about 5 weeks ago.  I was bummed. Cause this meant I needed to visit the DMV. Which I do NOT have time for as I am a full time employee this week and a totally booked student/employee next week. I resigned myself to having to spend Saturday waiting in line to get the stink eye and a replacement license.

Later that day I, went to my afternoon doctor’s appointment, whom I had also visited about 5 weeks ago and ventured a question to as whether or not they had my drivers license in lost and found . Yes, she said, she DID!  Thank God. Cause I really hate using my passport to get into bars.

Today is my last day of work at my current client, though not at my current job. (btw, I’m still waiting for word on that). I was commenting to a friend that it was sad that I was leaving, but not tooooo sad. And in my head, I hear my baby sister Abby yell, "But not THREEEEEEE sad.” Like she always used to when I was a toddler with her.

But seriously, it is sad leaving.  This was one of the first projects where I built something entirely on my own and delivered it to the client. So if things go as usual at this client, someone will be using that app for the next 20 years! It’s feels nice leaving that behind me.

Last night I went out to one very plastic place in the OC. Javier’s in Newport Beach.  This was for one of my project roll off parties. Company sponsored. Normally, Orange County is NOT what it’s portrayed as on TV. The majority of the OC really is just a bunch of upper middle class republicans with a 9-5 job and three kids. The kids all go to little league and the parents all go to Starbucks for morning coffee. Maybe that’s just the part I see. But going out to a place like Javier’s is the OTHER/Smaller side of the OC that is just huge boobs and undernourished 30-40 somethings with shockingly blond hair hanging off the side of 50-60 somethings with potbellies, big arms, and the Ferrari 458 Italia parked outside.

USC has finally passed UCLA in college rankings. This is an epic win moment for workplace battles where I work with a great number of peers from both universities.

Today, I ate dinner with my kind-of boss who’s more than kind-of awesome, and he pointed out that I was having a quarter-life crisis with this whole med school thing. And I’m like, “Yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense.” But I’m still gonna have fun riding that hot new red Ferrari.

I should find out tomorrow if I’m going to be staffed on a different project part time. If not That project, there are openings in a specific internal department that I may be staffed in. If I get the internal job, I would be able to work from home, which would be AH-SOME.  Not having to commute to work would do wonders for my study-time. Any commute in LA is such a time drain. Time I NEED.

Yesterday, a girlfriend showed me all around campus.  I know where my classes are going to be now.  And I have 4 blisters from breaking in my new heels. The campus is pretty awesome, but located in like the worst part of downtown. I guess there are always at least 3 buttons you can see from any point on the campus where if you press one there will be a security guard at the button in 32 seconds. That’s how seriously they take the safety. Can’t have the University for Spoiled Children having their spoiled children getting killed. Not Good Business. I’m supposed to take a Shuttle to campus from the parking garage because it’s not safe enough to walk the ONE block to campus. Sheesh.

But seriously, the campus looks great.

I met my classmates today. The USC post-bacc program had a little reception at the faculty sponsor’s house. The house was a modest little house in West LA which means that it probably cost a couple million.  I met about 20 of the 34 people enrolled in my class whilest sitting around and eating strawberries, taquitos, and pot stickers. I got to meet all the people doing what I’m doing which is giving up a career in something else to go be a doctor. Well, that’s some of us anyway. Others of the post-baccs are straight out of undergrad with just a different major. Most of the post backs are 23-26 while there are a good number far above that. One lady at the party graduated college in 1998. You could tell she was very nervous about the life change she was about to embark on. There were students with undergrads in pre-law, psychology, English, History, Accounting, Finance, International Business - basically everything.

I’m taking Biology and Chemistry this semester. Most of us haven’t taken a science class since high school. But I’m an engineer now. I take certification exams, design applications, build applications, and troubleshoot code. It’s kept my ability to problem solve very much alive and kicking.   The transition shouldn’t be too bad. <Crosses Fingers>

I’m still waiting to hear back from my current employer about part time work. If they can’t find anything attractive. I’m ready to just hit the streets and find some job in my NEW career field. Make less money, gain more experience. Probably wouldn’t be a bad move. Either way…

I’m excited. School starts in one week. There’s another orientation party next Friday, but I’ll be too busy having my current client throw me a going away luncheon.

I gave my two weeks notice to my job last Friday.  I tell my boss I’m going to grad school. Business school? he asks.

No, a career change. I’m going to school to get me prerequisites for med school. Namely a lot of Biology and Chemistry. He’s pretty stunned. They really don’t want me to leave this project. I’ve been billable at this client for 9 months now. Racking in lots of money for my company. And I’m potentially billable here for an additional year. Me walking away means lost money for them. I’m not a cost. I am the product they are selling, and this nectarine just decided to roll off the stack of sellable nectarines and out the door.

He wants me to stay and work for the Company part time even if they can’t swing it to allow me to stay at the same client. I’m very cool with this. Especially if they can find me a local client or a client that allows me to work from home. I should hear within the week.  And it’s looking good so far.  If they can’t find me a client, I’m back to square one. No job. If that happens, things will get fun real fast. But it’s where I was going to be anyway if they hadn’t offered up the part time thing. NBD. I’d figure it out.

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This journey will last me 10 years. It will take my 2 years to get my prerequisites. 1 year to get into med school. 4 years of med school. 3 years of residency(at least). I’ll be 36.  Hopefully, This blog will take me through those 10 years.

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I’ve been pretty spoiled these last couple years. I make much more now then I will even in a residency program. This means I won’t reach my same income level till I’m 37.  I’m saying goodbye to massages and pedicures, to Lululemon and T h e o r y, to 4-5 vacations every year, to commissioning art, to collecting books, to putting money in my 401k, and to eating out for EVERY meal. I haven’t used a stove in over two years. I just hope I don’t have to say goodbye to my new Camry. But even that can go if it has to.  I’ll drive a Yaris in exchange for having a fulfilling life and and an exciting journey in pursuit of that life.  I’m happier with large goals in my life.

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I want to go on to explain why I want to be a doctor and why now. And I realized that this was the question posed to me on my application for the post-baccalaureate pre-med school program that I will be attending in under a week.

I’ll just post that essay.

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Personal Statement

I have been told to stay away from religious topics in personal essays, but I feel that I cannot stay away and still be able to communicate why I want to be a doctor and why I want to do it now.  I grew up in a very tightly controlled religious environment.  Among other topics, my science classes included a debate about which theological interpretation of Noah’s ark was most scientifically sound. My introduction to evolution consisted of a teacher telling us that since the most muscular (the fittest) squirrels could still get run over by cars that natural selection was therefore false.  Science was the enemy my entire youth.  I had little knowledge of real science, much less an appreciation of it.  I enrolled without hesitation to Bob Jones University for my undergraduate degree, an institution that guided the ideology of my high school. The ideology being, as Martin Luther says, "Whoever wants to be a Christian should tear the eyes out of his reason."  I lasted 2 years before being expelled for leaving campus with a boy without a university-approved chaperon.

By the time I was expelled, I was well on my way to opening my mind and rethinking my childhood upbringing. I decided forgo reentry to BJU and enrolled at a secular state university across the country. I continued my accounting/information systems degree at the University of Nevada Reno (UNR). I chose those fields chose because of the problem solving I have always been gifted at, not because of some deep passion for the subjects. In order to graduate, I was required to take a course in the natural sciences, and I chose an introductory course in geology. I remember hearing for the first time evidence that the earth was billions of years old. I was turning around in my seat with wide eyes going, “People have known about this and haven’t told me!”

From that introduction, it was just a short amount of time before I was in love with the sciences, especially biological sciences. Never having been exposed to religiously unbiased science before, I started reading book after book after book on psychology, evolution, and pathology.  Eventually, I picked up a book on discoveries that have been made since the mapping of the human genome, and I realized that knowledge in biological science is exploding and brilliant people are out there discovering it right now. Right now!  It got my blood flowing. I am lucky enough to be born in a generation where science can be embraced without fear of repercussions and also in a generation where increasing technology allows life changing discoveries to happen one right after another. The landscape as I enter the field of medicine will completely change by the time I leave it, and I am not going to let the chance to enter such an exciting field pass me by.

I graduated UNR and immediately took a position at a technology consulting company. I have worked implementing systems at large corporations and have done well, getting promoted consistently even while my company was drastically cutting jobs. My success has made me happy. Producing working technology for corporations at the top of their industry has made me proud, but I do not get that giddy excitement from building systems that I get from reading a book about prions.

Found this little dialogue on my facebook today. Made me love my family :)

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My 18 Year old Sister -- When I was little, I thought that whenever we used a knife to cut some meat or something that the knife made stuff disappear and that's why it cut, so I thought there was this magical world just full of ham, bread, and other slices. And when there were enough slices of the same thing they would combine and go back to the real world as a new item. Yay nostalgia. I miss being five :(

My 22 Year old Brother -- When I was five, I thought we had boogers in our noses to feed us if we were starving in the desert.

My 24 Year old Sister -- Today I was at the beach and remember thinking that you had to put on sun screen in the car. Because once you got outside and tried to put on sunblock, the rays would get caught between your skin and the sunblock, bounce around between those two barriers and burn you worse.

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